Sunday, July 12 | In the Wilderness | Survival Tip #4: Friendship

Copy Help
  • Public/Private: Change the visibility of this video on your My Videos tab
  • Save/Unsave: Save/Unsave this video to/from your Saved Videos tab
  • Copy: Copy this video link to your system clipboard
  • Email: Copy this video link to your default email application
  • Remove: Remove this video from your My Videos or Saved Videos tab
Watch at: 00:00 / 00:00:20Watch at: 00:20 / 00:40[Music]Watch at: 00:40 / 01:00Watch at: 01:00 / 01:20well good morning welcome to LakesideWatch at: 01:20 / 01:40Watch at: 01:40 / 02:00glad to see you here today if you'reWatch at: 02:00 / 02:20Watch at: 02:20 / 02:40with us online we want to welcome you toWatch at: 02:40 / 03:00Watch at: 03:00 / 03:20we're glad that you're with usWatch at: 03:20 / 03:40Watch at: 03:40 / 04:00worshiping online we can't wait to seeWatch at: 04:00 / 04:20Watch at: 04:20 / 04:40more and more people being able to joinWatch at: 04:40 / 05:00Watch at: 05:00 / 05:20us safely here and we're glad that youWatch at: 05:20 / 05:40Watch at: 05:40 / 06:00have done that just a reminder toWatch at: 06:00 / 06:20Watch at: 06:20 / 06:40register each week that way we haveWatch at: 06:40 / 07:00Watch at: 07:00 / 07:20record of you being here with us if weWatch at: 07:20 / 07:40Watch at: 07:40 / 08:00need to contact anybody about that andWatch at: 08:00 / 08:20Watch at: 08:20 / 08:40and safety and contact tracing and allWatch at: 08:40 / 09:00Watch at: 09:00 / 09:20of that that just helps us with that inWatch at: 09:20 / 09:40Watch at: 09:40 / 10:00keeping track of that and making sureWatch at: 10:00 / 10:20we're all safe and and and have all theWatch at: 10:20 / 10:40information we need if you are with ushere be sure to take a moment fill outthe digital check-in card if you'redoing for shipping with us online youcan do that there as well I gotta sayeverybody here your masks are reallyreally nice and attractive that's greatI was a I saw some with some sport teamsWatch at: 10:40 / 11:00on and I'm not gonna say anything butI'm really looking forward to seeingsome st. Louis Cardinal masks I thinkthat's gonna be good so yeah that wasn'tas impressive applause as I wasexpecting for but yeah anyway thosecould be fighting words I realize thatso we're in church so anyway glad thatWatch at: 11:00 / 11:20you're here to worship with usbe sure to check in and and as you do ifyou're online as you decide to come backeither the worship in one of our pods orin the worship center here on site likeI said please be sure to fill out thatregistration to let us know whichWatch at: 11:20 / 11:40service you'll be at each week as youknow this we celebrate communion we'llbe doing that here together and weinvite you to do that with us online aswell so if you want to be sure and beready be prepared to do that that wouldbe wonderful and then offering is alsogoing to take place a lot of folks arenow giving online and that's wonderfulWatch at: 11:40 / 12:00and so can it's a kind of a convenientway it's a good way to be disciplinedand regular in your giftand especially right now since we aren'tpassing in the offering platesthat's an excellent thing to be doing sojust lakeside Christian comm /give toset that up if you haven't already ifWatch at: 12:00 / 12:20you are going to give while you're hereyou can do that when we dismiss fromhere at the end of the service we turnour eyes to the Lord when we come toworship we know that our help comes fromhim and we look to him for for light forguidance for peace and for truth in ourWatch at: 12:20 / 12:40lives and so this morning as we come tothe Lord I'd invite you to stand if youwould please let's stand and let's joinour hearts in prayer as we seek the Lordtodaylet's pray our Father we thank you forthis time you've called us here togetherto worship to be in your presence toWatch at: 12:40 / 13:00hear from you and to to know that youare among us that you go with us evenwhen we're out from this place we're outfrom our homes wherever it is we areworshiping right now that your presenceis with us you promise never to leaveWatch at: 13:00 / 13:20never to forsake us and so we take greatconfidence in that and so God todaywhile we're here while we're listeningwhile we're worshiping online whateverthe case might be God would youilluminate our hearts shine brightlyinto our hearts and do that through yourword your life-giving word through yourWatch at: 13:20 / 13:40spirit your unifying spirit and throughour presence and our fellowship togetherspeak to us God we're listening we giveyou praise and thanks for Christ JesusWatch at: 13:40 / 14:00and we pray in his name amen[Music]Watch at: 14:00 / 14:20[Applause]Watch at: 14:20 / 14:40[Music]mid stop the darkness your the lightguides me[Music]Watch at: 14:40 / 15:00[Music][Music]Watch at: 15:00 / 15:20cause myyouyou knowyou[Music]Watch at: 15:20 / 15:40exalted whatWatch at: 15:40 / 16:00[Music]youguysour eyes[Music]Watch at: 16:00 / 16:19we[Music]our eyes[Music]ahWatch at: 16:19 / 16:40Watch at: 16:40 / 17:00[Music][Applause]I see you where comes from our hope isWatch at: 17:00 / 17:20found in you Jesus[Music]Watch at: 17:20 / 17:40[Applause][Music]Watch at: 17:40 / 18:00eggs on seeing world[Music]Watch at: 18:00 / 18:20Watch at: 18:20 / 18:40before e-smoke creation the god ofheaventhen his reflectionwe are is very onWatch at: 18:40 / 19:00his heart is he is oldmay the cross he[Music]Watch at: 19:00 / 19:20we are the daughters of God[Music]Watch at: 19:20 / 19:40andit shows[Music]Watch at: 19:40 / 20:00[Applause][Music]Watch at: 20:00 / 20:20Watch at: 20:20 / 20:40he will[Music]we are the sons wethe daughters of God[Music]Watch at: 20:40 / 21:00mywhen I can't see past the time[Music]you're always by my sideWatch at: 21:00 / 21:20[Music]yes[Music]Watch at: 21:20 / 21:40Watch at: 21:40 / 22:00[Music]Watch at: 22:00 / 22:20we are the daughters of God[Music]hey there my name is Lindsay and I'm onWatch at: 22:20 / 22:40staff here just a reminder don't forgetto fill out your digital check-in cardat lakeside Christian comm slashcheck-in let us know that you'reworshiping with us and how we can prayfor you this week go ahead and take outyour phone and follow along as we showyou how to check in virtually head onover to lakeside Christian comm slashWatch at: 22:40 / 23:00check dash in here we're gonna enter inour first name our last name if you're amarried go ahead and put your spouse'sname here if you have kids please writeeach individual kid in this line next goand put your phone number this is mychildhood phone number so no need tosend me any text on this next lineWatch at: 23:00 / 23:20please enter your email address andunderneath that is a place to put yourprayer request where we can pray overyou during the week we can know what'shappening and connect with you it's oneof our favorite things to do as a staffso if you have prayer requests pleasetake the time to put them in here at theend of this go ahead and hit submit andthat's it for our lakeside students weWatch at: 23:20 / 23:40have an exciting update for you therehave been some changes to our ciy eventbefore we were doing two separate eventsfor our junior highers and highschoolers but now we're going to do themtogether the dates will be now justTuesday the 14th through Thursday theWatch at: 23:40 / 24:0016th registration is still open so signup ASAP at lakeside Christian comm slashstudents for all the ciy fun and we havean event for you we are so excited toannounce that lakeside is hosting artsyan Art Fair for kids in care to helpsupport one of our local missionorganizations the James Project thisWatch at: 24:00 / 24:20nonprofit serves foster care families inthe Springfield community throughproviding housing supplies and supportArtie will be on July 17th which is thisFriday from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. under thebig tent at lakeside come join in thefun and festivities this outdoor eventWatch at: 24:20 / 24:40you get to eat snacks experience a widevariety of ntainment that your arm painted engage inhands-on creativity and buy art made byfoster kids and local artists to supportthe james project thanks again forworshiping with us today like sad beforeWatch at: 24:40 / 25:00the sermon we're providing space wherewe can give to God what is already hisby entering into a time of offeringtogether so while you prepare your heartto give online or in person this morningI'm going to read a passage from Matthew6 it says but seek first the kingdom ofGod and His righteousness and all thesethings that you worry about will beWatch at: 25:00 / 25:20provided for you the first and greatestcommandment is to love the Lord our Godwith all our hearts Jesus is to havepreeminence or a first place in ourlives or to seek first the kingdom amberto honor the Lord with our firstfruitsso when we bring our offerings into thehouse of God we're reinforcing ourWatch at: 25:20 / 25:40covenant of faith with the Lord that heis first in all things when he is firstwith our money he's first with ourhearts give God reign in your hearttoday through giving yourself completelyto him you might be asking how do I giveif I'm watching online simply go tolakeside Christian comm slash get to setWatch at: 25:40 / 26:00up online giving or you can still mailin your giving throughout the weekadditionally feel free to drop off youroffering at Lakeside Monday throughFriday from 9 to 4 during office hourslet's pray over our offering as we getinto our sermon today Lord today webring you our gifts in Jesus's name wewant to seek first your kingdom as weWatch at: 26:00 / 26:20give today bless these offerings tofurther your word and your light in thisworld spirit help us to know you moretoday as we continue to experience youin this service to know you in your wordand to leave changed because of it welove you God amenWatch at: 26:20 / 26:40well good morning everyone welcome toLakeside I just want to welcome you theWatch at: 26:40 / 27:00lakeside and everybody that's online wewant to welcome you for being online aswell I wanted to mention real quick justhow deeply appreciative I am actuallyour leadership team as well our staffand elders we are so extremelyWatch at: 27:00 / 27:20appreciative of everybody's cooperationand their spirit if I were to make alist of all the little things that wehave to do differently it's a prettylong list and sometimes church peoplearen't the most quick to want to changeand adapt and have their routine messedwith but you guys have been amazing it'sbeen a blessing actually and it'sallowed us to concentrate our energiesWatch at: 27:20 / 27:40on doing what's helpful for everybodyinstead of trying to bring everybodyonto the same page so thank you for thatand I want to say for those of you herebut also online that we're doingservices here in the building on Sundayat 9:00 and 10:30 and as I look outright now this is for the online folksthere's seats available in the 9 o'clockWatch at: 27:40 / 28:00hour and I can't count how many butthere's quite a few seats that areavailableeverybody's socially distanced andpeople come in with their mouths theyleave with our masks on you come and youcan fellowship out in the parking lotbut there's room and at the nine o'clockhour I want to say for this group andpeople online at 10:30 we have abouthalf as many folks there's a lot of roomWatch at: 28:00 / 28:20in second service and so if you want tocome to a service and you still feellike maybe you're too close to eachother or you want less traffic wesanitize everything between the servicesand at 10:30 there's more room and thenwe also got classrooms that you can meetin with just your family or whatever ifyou want to watch the service live inother parts of our building so anywayWatch at: 28:20 / 28:40just a couple things and I thank youguys for all that as I've been studyingthe Proverbs I've realized that we canacquire wisdom in a couple differentdirections we can acquire wisdom likelooking backwards over our lives rightand so we can reflect on life'sexperiences life's regrets our mistakesWatch at: 28:40 / 29:00that we've made and yes even our sinsand so we can reflect on the experiencesof others as well we can look at that'swhy history is important is that wedon't have to keep repeating the samemistakes throughout history there'snothing really new Under the Sun we canlook back and learn actually from ourWatch at: 29:00 / 29:20history we don't have to erase it we canactually kind of embrace it andunderstand it and and grow because of itand so it's like they say hindsight is20/20 and I love looking back andreflecting with myself with other peopleabout what we've learned in lifewhen I read the Proverbs I find myselfWatch at: 29:20 / 29:40saying things like yep and yeah and inoops and you know hand to the foreheadduhand I should have a guy I could have Iwould have but the most important thingis I've got it now okayand so Solomon was one of the wisest menwho ever livedand there's no question that God gaveWatch at: 29:40 / 30:00him wisdom to look forward which is theother way we can learn wisdom but healso learned from mistakes that he madeand so a lot of what you find inProverbs are reflections that are veryimportant so we can acquire wisdomlooking forward to so the Proverbsprepares us it prepares me and you tohave wisdom in things that are not yetWatch at: 30:00 / 30:20experienced isn't it great that we canlearn without having experiencedsomething firsthand like I don't need togo through the negative experience orwhatever it is in order to to beprepared and learn ahead of time and soif I can humble myself and if I can takethese proverbs to heart and reallyWatch at: 30:20 / 30:40meditate on them and and be patient topray through them they can insulate meand you as well from a lot of pain theycan insulate us from our own foolishnessfrom the foolishness of others from sinfrom folly and so forth in fact whatI'll say is that the essence ofWatch at: 30:40 / 31:00parenting mentoring coaching teachingdiscipleship pastoring it is reallyinstilling wisdom kind of preemptivelyand not just in kind of a reactionaryway or retroactive but preemptively wewant to live betterfor that's the only way we can live isWatch at: 31:00 / 31:20going for it so how can we do that bestand so we're at the middle we're justgetting into the heart of this seriesand we've talked about three topicsfearing God we talked about honoring andrespecting the previous-generationparents and last week I appreciate yourpatience last week but we talked aboutWatch at: 31:20 / 31:4012 ways to destroy wealth and 12 ways tobuild wealth that was my first 24 pointsermon but you know it was comprehensiveand we tried to fly through things butthe Proverbs are teaching us how to livebetter and they're giving us content andknowledge to help other folks and toserve other folks in so many differentWatch at: 31:40 / 32:00ways well when I look back on my life Isay man I wish I could I wish I wouldhave feared God differently and morefully and earlier in life I wish that Iyou know with my parents for examplethat I was much more receptive to theirwisdom but I wasn't completely closedoff to it otherwise I'd be at all messWatch at: 32:00 / 32:20today I wish that there were ways that Iwould have built wealth instead ofdestroying wealth just based on thestuff we talked about but this morningyou know we can't redo the past but wecan live better going forward and sothis morning what I want to talk aboutour friendships and you read proverbsand you can't ignore the theme ofWatch at: 32:20 / 32:39friendships and I'm like that is such amundane simple topic like you wouldn'tthink to preach a whole sermon just onfriendships and yet friendships are areso vital and so core to who we are andwho we were becoming that we need totalk about friendships and we need toteach the next generation and otherWatch at: 32:39 / 33:00people how to have better friendshipsand so this morning as I talk I'm gonnaflash some screens up on some scripturesup on the screen and I'm gonna talkabout them and you can read them you canwrite them down you can go online laterdownload the message which is what Irecommend so you're not gettingfrustrated writing down a bunch of stuffbut I hope that these proverbs will stirWatch at: 33:00 / 33:20and use some reflection about thisimportant theme of friendship and andsome of the other topics we're gonna getinto so I want to share some lessonsI've learned aboutfriendship and these are reflections onproverbs that I've been reading andstudying and so I've got five lessonsabout friendship that I've learned andWatch at: 33:20 / 33:39tried to grow through one is I amtotally struck by the sheer power theinfluence that friendships have and sothe scriptures don't mince words aboutthe power that relationships havepotentially to derail us in life derailour families derail our future derailWatch at: 33:39 / 34:00our prosperity derail a lot of thingsbut more specifically friendships canderail our love for God and our fear arein our love for people as well they canenhance or derail the most importantaspects of our life that's how powerfulfriendships are you can't minimize orWatch at: 34:00 / 34:20overstate the importance of them andearly in life I had far morerelationships that led me away from Godthan I did relationships that led metoward God but at the time especiallywhen I was a younger man and a young boyI didn't really care about thatI was carnal I was fleshly I was worldlyWatch at: 34:20 / 34:40I was drawn to just about anyone whocould break up the monotony and theboredom of my life and it was like ifthey asked me to go I'm like let's goand fortunately that changed butfriendships are like that this isexactly what we speak at the top ofWatch at: 34:40 / 35:00Proverbs one of the first topics thatcomes up is the father telling a sonlet's talk about your friendships yourrelationships proverbs 1 10 through 14my son if sinners entice you don't bepersuaded if they say come with us letus ambush and kill someone let's attackWatch at: 35:00 / 35:20some innocent person just for fununderline that phrase just for funseriously let's swallow them alive likethe grave let's swallow them whole likethose who go down to the pit will findall kinds of valuable property and fillour houses with plunder and just throwin your lot with us and we'll all shareWatch at: 35:20 / 35:40in the loot okayI've never entertained ambushing orkilling someone alright confession but Ican tell you as a as a young personLaura wanted me to clarify this to makesure it wasn't like as a young ministerlike last year or something like thatWatch at: 35:40 / 36:00but anyway but as a young person Iallowed myself to be enticed intobullying the week a lot shameful thingsI let friends entice me in the criminalactivity like vandalizing the schoolproperty I didn't break windows I soakedWatch at: 36:00 / 36:20my tp'ed we did just about everythingyou could sort of like anyway but it'sstill a major deal and the police wereinvolved it wasn't goodcommitting theft at the local grocerystore as a young person lighting illegalfireworks damaging business properties IWatch at: 36:20 / 36:40won't get too specific on that onewatching dirty movies you see yourfriends entice and they draw you intothings out of boredom hey let's go havesome fun let's go do this or do that inthe pretext keep in mind the pretext isalways let's have some fun so friendsWatch at: 36:40 / 37:00they have this inordinate power andinfluence over us they entice whybecause they know us best and becausethey can be so persuasive they know howto appeal to the weakest part of ournature the broken parts of our characterthey know our vulnerabilities are sopowerful to entice and boy do friendsWatch at: 37:00 / 37:20ever pressure it so it feels like if yousay no to your friends the whole worldis gonna stop the whole world's gonnaend I'm gonna be isolated and sentencedto some remote island for the rest of mylife with the soccer ball that I have tomake my best friend or whatever you knowlike if you say no to your friends likeWatch at: 37:20 / 37:40it just seems like life's gonna stop andand not only do friends expect fullcommitment they always draw a line comewith us what happens is if you don'tcome with us if you don't go with themthey're perfectly content to cancel usout write us off go find other friendsWatch at: 37:40 / 38:00that are willing to go along and I'mjust confessing to you that all too longthat pressure has led me not toward Godbut away from God and that's the powerof friendships and that's what thefather is talking about now there's somuch I could confess but I will say thatWatch at: 38:00 / 38:20as a young person at the time I thoughtI knew what was best for me I thought Iknew what was best for my life andthat's an attitude that not just youngpeople have and so I knew what was bestfor me and so I intentionally kept myparents in the dark about who my friendswere about what we were planning and andWatch at: 38:20 / 38:40as a young person I mean I had this darkkind of sinful flesh Lea rebelliousgod-hating like parent Haiti not with acapital H but still disrespecting myparents and and here is the wisdom hereis the true reality wisdom andWatch at: 38:40 / 39:00retrospect of that sin my parents youknow your parents and if you don't havegodly parents you can substitute the thename of a godly person that maybe was inyour life I didn't want their opinion Iknew they wouldn't approve of the thingsthat I was thinking about or the thingsWatch at: 39:00 / 39:20that I was doing it hoped that myparents were very busy with work andother things they didn't pay attentionalways they weren't able to and that wasto my advantage I used that to my wellnot to my advantage but I use it to mydisadvantage how's that but my myparents here's the reality they had fargreater perspective on my life than Iever would have cared to admitWatch at: 39:20 / 39:40especially as a young person at one timethey too were wild in their youth at onetime they you know lived out their ownflavor of rebellion in their times andthey paid dearly or they had friendsthat paid dearly and so in love myparents they would have gladly offeredme tremendous perspectiveWatch at: 39:40 / 40:00to set me up for success in life inevery way loving God loving people butagain I didn't want thereopinion because my heart was evil and mydeeds were evil and I loved the darknessand I loved the obscurity and I fearedcoming into light for fear of exposurebut could you imagine and if you're aWatch at: 40:00 / 40:20young person could you imagine whatcould happen if you could go back intime and humble yourself before thepeople that truly loved you and we'relooking out for you that had the best inmind for you like your parentsI pray you had good parents but thereare people that were looking out for youteachers mentors coaches it's not justparents and what if you would haveWatch at: 40:20 / 40:40embraced their discernment if you feel alittle bit of that regret like what ifyou would have embraced theirunderstanding their perspective in lifeyou know parents are far moreunderstanding and they're far morediscerning about you your character yourfriends their character then you couldever imagineWatch at: 40:40 / 41:00and so I'll say this to the young peoplethey're probably hopefully there's atleast one listening I can help one maybeif you're a young person living forwardgoing forward if you were to honor yourparents and respect them think about howmuch grief you'd be spared in life yourWatch at: 41:00 / 41:20parents are in voluble because outsidethey're outside of your youth echochamber and they're outside youryouthful rebellious subculture that'salways you know when you're in yourteens and early 20s that's therebellious subculture it changes on theoutside of that time frame that seasonof life but if in that season of lifeWatch at: 41:20 / 41:40you're listen boy you could really helpyourselfmy parents would have said what theFather and proverbs said to his son lookat these words he says my son if theysay come with us this continues what wejust read don't travel that road withthem don't set foot on their pathbecause their feet are running towardWatch at: 41:40 / 42:00evil and they're in a hurry to shedblood it is useless to spread a netwhere any bird can see it but they setan ambush to kill themselves they attacktheir own lives such are the paths ofall who profit dishonestly takes thelives of those who receive it the parentis pointing out the foolWatch at: 42:00 / 42:20yes your friends are foolish they'rebeing idiotic they're doing thingsthinking that they're getting away withsomething that they're never gonna getaway with it's gonna backfire on it andyou're gonna be right in the middle ofthat mess in the aftermath of their badcharacter the power of friendship isthis your friends can entice you awayWatch at: 42:20 / 42:40from your parents way right they canentice you away from the fear of God topathways of destruction it's better todeal with this now than later and learnit later and look back and learn it inretrospect it's better to live bettergoing forward right and so I love thismy son because I'll tell you one of theWatch at: 42:40 / 43:00things that did change for me as a youngperson as I gave my life to Christ and Ireceived the Holy Spirit of the LivingGod and so even when I was being stupidthe Holy Spirit was in constant dialoguewith my soul and spirit saying whose sonare youyou want to be my father's son do youWatch at: 43:00 / 43:20want to be your father's sonor do you want to be a son of hell doyou want to be a son of the devil whosechild are you and so we do well toreally recognize the power that friendshave to in you know to influence us andto redirect us now here's a secondlesson that I've learned aboutWatch at: 43:20 / 43:40friendship throughout my life and it'sin Proverbs is there's a transfer atransference of character in regards torelationships and friendships there's atransference that goes on the characterof your friends or the lack thereof thepersonality of your friends theirWatch at: 43:40 / 44:00temperament their intellect theirintellectual IQ their social oremotional IQ I'll add this their racialIQ or the lack thereof all of that stuffthe skills the abilities the aptitudesWatch at: 44:00 / 44:20the speech the the attitudes valueshabits the flaws the strengths whateveryou become like whoever you are mostwith do you realizeand that's why it's so important for usto be together as the body of Christ andit's so dangerous for us to be a part isbecause we have a positive influence onWatch at: 44:20 / 44:40who one another's become any when we'reout in the world I'm just saying there'sa lot of transference there's a lot ofpeople rubbing off on us and taking usin the wrong direction and early onespecially early on in my life I becamefar more like my friends than I ever didbecoming like Christ only later in lifeWatch at: 44:40 / 45:00if I become more like Christ and lesslike my once fleshly friends you know Isurrounded myself with spiritual friendsand and and people that can encouragethe best part of my life before God andit's made a huge difference it's reallyWatch at: 45:00 / 45:20painful to reflect on these proverbs andjust to go back and say yeah you know Idid become like that crowd that I usedto run with them and yeah that wasdetrimental to my character in so manyways here's a couple of Proverbs thatkind of they may make us feel a littlebit embarrassed in the shame but we canlearn we can go forward the right wayproverbs 13:20 the one who walks withthe wise will become why there it is butWatch at: 45:20 / 45:40a companion of fools will suffer harmso there's transference there's a factthat people have on us and we on them Ispent way too much of my life way toomuch of my time around stupid foolishfleshly people instead of wiseWatch at: 45:40 / 46:00spiritually rooted lovers of God andlovers of people I'm just being honestwith you and I'm sure that maybe youfeel that way about your life too so soteach people about that tell your kidsabout that and break that down for themproverbs 22:24 through 25 look at thisone don't make friends with an angryWatch at: 46:00 / 46:20person and don't become a companion of ahot-tempered person or what you willlearn his ways and you'll entangleyourself in a snare when I spent timewith people who hated their parents anddisrespected their parents and disobeyedWatch at: 46:20 / 46:40them guess what I became angrydisrespectful a hatermy parents when I spent time aroundangry politically partisan people guesswhat I became an angry politicalpartisan so please take note of thatwhen I turned on into when I tuned intoWatch at: 46:40 / 47:00caustic voices around me I began echoingthose same caustic viewpoints andopinions and attitudes and values so youwant to make friends with an angryperson and and and hang around an angryperson you know it's gonna be a snarefor you it's gonna it's gonna undermineyour life proverbs 23 22 21 don'tWatch at: 47:00 / 47:20associate with those who drink too muchwine or with those who gorge themselveson meat for the drunkard and gluttonwill become poor and grogginess willclothe them in rags you're gonna hearthat verse a few more times throughoutthis series when I spent time withindulgent friendsI became indulgent ironically I neverWatch at: 47:20 / 47:40indulged in ok I can actually say thiswith integrityI never indulged in any wine or alcoholever in my life even as a young personin that crazy but I sure became fat okI never indulged in drugs they were putin my face I was pressured and bulliedWatch at: 47:40 / 48:00and you know I lived on the island withthe soccer ball through high school insome ways to be honest early because Iwouldn't but I sure filled my mind witha lot of impurity my friends fed theworst parts of my character and and theytried the wine they tried the drugs withWatch at: 48:00 / 48:20their for what I for whatever I wasn'topen to there was far more that I wasand oh how I wish that I could go backand have disciplined myself as a youngperson how how my physical health bedifferent if I didn't indulge sugar andcaffeine and carbs in the way that I didas a young person I can't even get intoWatch at: 48:20 / 48:40all that like man I had sugar constantlyI used to drive around on my bicyclewith a two-liter of Pepsi and just likeone or two of them things that day Imean whatever but it can't be good foryou and uh how am I my emotional ormental or social health be different ifI'd hungered and thirsted forrighteousnessinstead of gratifying the flesh as aWatch at: 48:40 / 49:00young person so indulgence rubs off onus proverbs 27:17 you are familiar withthis one as iron sharpens ironone person sharpens anotheriron can definitely sharpen iron but youknow iron can also dole other iron itjust depends on your angle right and IWatch at: 49:00 / 49:20have to say that like as I progressedyour high school God's Holy Spiritincreasingly got my attention he wasalways there he never like from themoment I made a decision for he wasalways there but as I progressed in lifeI began hanging around with people whowere smarter than me intentionallyWatch at: 49:20 / 49:40people who were more spiritually mindedthan I was who were more disciplined whowere more sharp than I was just as dullfriends can dull and derail you early onso for me later in life sharper friendsand more spiritually minded friendsbettered me your spouse can be your bestWatch at: 49:40 / 50:00friend there's no one who has made me abetter person than Laura all right don'ttell her that I go to her head and I'lljust get but it's true it's very truethere's no one that's maybe a betterperson than my parentsthen Laura's parents Don and Margaretthen the people that are in this churchthen some of the people that I work mostWatch at: 50:00 / 50:20closely with like Jay Brooks and BradOwens and more recently Eric reduc IIbut there's transference as my point andthere's power and there's influence infriendship and of all the things youcan't ignore in the next generation donot ignore friendships and and who yourWatch at: 50:20 / 50:40kids are with and who they're beinginfluenced by that's the most importantthing lesson 3 in the Proverbs I Istarted reflecting on the nature of anauthentic friendship and it got methinking how many authentic friendshipshave I had and how many kind of fakewere superficial friendships have I hadWatch at: 50:40 / 51:00I've wasted a lot of time in life tryingto force relationships that just weren'tthere and maybe even shouldn't have beenproverbs 25 17 says seldom set foot inyour neighbor's house otherwise you'llget sick of you and hate you you got anyWatch at: 51:00 / 51:20of those folks here this morning I don'teven need to explain that proverb do Iwe can force ourselves on people we canbecome space invaders and and and peoplethey might be warm but man we'reannoying it's not a real friendship seethere is a couple other proverbs theyWatch at: 51:20 / 51:40kind of convicted me about this idea offorcing relationships proverbs 17 onebetter a dry crust doesn't soundappetizing dry crust with peace then ahouse full of feasting where there'sstrife we engage environments andWatch at: 51:40 / 52:00circles of relationships where theremight be something that we really enjoythat we can indulge in even but it's nota helpful environment and those aren'thopeful relationships proverbs 23 6through 8 don't eat a stingy person'sbread a stingy person is someone thatdoesn't have grace and generosity towardWatch at: 52:00 / 52:20you they're tolerating you and you knowit but you don't want to acknowledge itbut they're stingy they're withholdingthey're kind of like you know not notenthusiastic about you and don't desirehis choice food for it's like someonecalculating inwardly eat and drink hesays to you like his words say somethingWatch at: 52:20 / 52:40but his heart is not with you it's thesame thing we do with God sometimes ourwords are right but our hearts not rightso we confess something with our mouthsbut we don't believe it in our heartsame thing in a relationships withpeople but it's hearts not with you youwill vomit the little that you've eatenand your waste your Pleasant words youknow you're overcompensating you'reWatch at: 52:40 / 53:00saying this you're trying to soothe itover you're trying to be funny you'retrying to fit in you're trying to beaccepted you're going through all thiseffort and and then when you leave youjust got kind of a sick feeling in yourstomach about the whole things maybeeven lost a little self-respect how muchyou've put yourself out there how manyWatch at: 53:00 / 53:20times have you accepted an invitationonly to quickly realizethis person doesn't respect me theybarely like me they barely tolerate methey're not for me you know that in yourspirit I may want to be you may want tobe liked and loved by someone but IWatch at: 53:20 / 53:40can't really control whether someonedoes and neither can youthe harder in life that I've tried toforce in authentic friendships the moreimpossible they came and the lesssatisfying they became and it's becausethey don't have generosity toward youWatch at: 53:40 / 54:00look at proverbs 19 for wealth attractsmany friends but a poor person isseparated from his friendso wealth attracts relations but theremight be you know the poor person whatfriend have they been separated from youpotentially and so what's crazy is likeWatch at: 54:00 / 54:20for superficial reasons even prejudicedreasons we might be truly missing anauthentic friendship that is right underour nose and so this proverbs telling usdon't overlook don't write off afriendship with a person maybe they'reof lower status than you are in yourWatch at: 54:20 / 54:40mind anyway they're probably like aperson could be right under your noseand and they will eat with you and theywill befriend youand their heart will be with you andthey'll and your heart will be with thembut you might sell that kind of arelationship off because you're seekinga higher status relationship with aWatch at: 54:40 / 55:00person you're trying to impress maybethey have more money maybe they havemore toys whatever but you're willing tosell one thing for the other but withthe other you end up with less you endup with less like this this person overhere could have offered you the richnessof relationship and so you know thisI've just reflected on whichrelationships are authentic which areWatch at: 55:00 / 55:20built on superficial things I wish Iwere an even better friend that's lessonnumber four one part of ministry that isso incredibly frustrating and it'sactually proven to be an honorsolvable kind of burden to be honest Ilook at it as like just the nature ofWatch at: 55:20 / 55:40ministry but it often seems that thepastoral role demands that I continuallywiden my circle of relationships withmany people even superficially like it'sthe handshake relationship right thetoken nod smile like while neverWatch at: 55:40 / 56:00substantially deepening friendships witha few and that is a horrible formula forsatisfying relationships in life to go amile wide and never get even an inchdeep in relationships and sometimes thenature of our role and I'm saying as apastor that is almost the nature of yourrole you're touching so many folksWatch at: 56:00 / 56:20broadly superficial it's hard to go deepwith just a few you don't have thebandwidth you have you have limitedbandwidth relationally and so we have tobe very wise about that reality and so Idon't know if you ever feel that wayI've been struggling with this for along time look at some of these proverbsproverbs 18:24 a person with manyWatch at: 56:20 / 56:40friends may be harm but there is afriend who stays closer than a brotherthat that friend that stays closer thana brother will watch out for you whenyou have many friends and acquaintancesyou know they may or may not be payingattention they don't have any stake toreally pay attention proverbs 26 many aWatch at: 56:40 / 57:00person proclaims his own loyalty but whocan really find a trustworthy personproverbs 19 22 what is desirable in aperson is their fidelity right theirloyalty their faithfulness to thatrelationshipit's better to be a poor person than aWatch at: 57:00 / 57:20liar and so proverbs 17:17 a friendloves at all times and a brother is bornfor a difficult time my best friends arepeople who have walked through fire anddifficulties with me but acquaintancesWatch at: 57:20 / 57:40they're a dime a dozen and there's nocost to be an acquaintance of somebodyor an acquaintance of a church or anacquaintance of the body of Christbecause until you share pain and walkwith somebody you know the theBrotherhood is born out when we shareWatch at: 57:40 / 58:00life together and walk throughdifficulties together there's nothingdeepen through superficiality proverbs25 19 may I hope that we don't haveanybody that's like this here today buttrusting a non reliable person like afriend in a difficult time and they'reunreliable they say thingstouken things but they're not there forWatch at: 58:00 / 58:20you it's like having a rotten tooth or afaltering foot a friend is just therefor you period one last lesson guardyour friendships guard your friendshipfriendships are so precious they areWatch at: 58:20 / 58:40worth every ounce of energy they demandand they demand not just ounces butpounds of energy good ones even goodrelationships a demand lots of energythey are preciousand you can't just set friendships onautopilot isn't it stuff that you'veWatch at: 58:40 / 59:00learned that don't you think there'd bevalue and teaching this forward to thenext generation don't let a friendshipgo on autopilot proverbs 27 10 don'tabandon your friend or even yourfather's friend you have friends of yourfamily that care for you and they're noteven of your same age or generation doWatch at: 59:00 / 59:20not abandon especially relationshipsthat have spanned generations there'sthere's people that know your family andyour family's character and they arejust as vital as anyone that's maybeyour execs made you get out of your echochamber right of your own generationdon't go to your brother's house in yourtime of calamity better a neighborWatch at: 59:20 / 59:40nearby than a brother far away I have abrother who lives near Champaign I havea brother and sister that live nearChicago I love themtheir family but proximity proximitybegets the deeper bonds and I think it'sWatch at: 59:40 / 01:00:00true of them I think it's true of methat we probably havefriends who have close proximity to usthat have closer bonds to us than eventhe biological bonds and so the pointhere is that distance tests and strainsand distance also weakens bonds ourculture is not only super transient IWatch at: 01:00:00 / 01:00:20mean every year like we you can analyzethis statistically 11 percent of ourcongregation moves away gets a jobtransfer gets irritated about Illinoisor whatever it is 11 percent or theypass away or they move on to be with theLord but there's a transience andWatch at: 01:00:20 / 01:00:40ever-changing nature to relationshipsbut then in addition with kovat 19 weare into this forced separation andisolation we're not even gettingtogether even with those that we do knowand I'm just telling you friendships canslip away not just because of distancebut because of covert 19 because of theWatch at: 01:00:40 / 01:01:00lack of proximity and distance for mehas destroyed very valuable friendshipsand I've tried to pursue relationshipsat a distance it's just really reallyalmost impossible it's hard not you knowlike you there are success stories it'svery very hard and so here's some thingsWatch at: 01:01:00 / 01:01:20to do to guard your friendshipsfriendships demand grace and forgivenessif they're gonna work that's why I saidthere are a lot of energy proverbs 18 19I hope you're listening really closelyto this verse an offended brother anoffended friend it's harder to reachWatch at: 01:01:20 / 01:01:40than a fortified city they put the wallsup they put the fortifications when youoffend somebody you might be burning abridge that will never be rebuilt andwhen you offend somebody even a friendeven a brother you know they're harderto reach than a fortified city andWatch at: 01:01:40 / 01:02:00quarrels are like the bars of thefortress without grace the best offriends can become the worst of enemiesthere's a proverb that says a wiseperson overlooks a fault they'lloverlook in ait's absolutely necessary if aWatch at: 01:02:00 / 01:02:20friendship is gonna be guarded how doyou guard friendship you get togetheroften you forgive quickly you forgiveoften and I let that be a note to ourFacebook culture here within our churchas well that you can offend a person ina New York second but man once youWatch at: 01:02:20 / 01:02:40offend a person they might actually beunreachable and if you think offendingpeople is going to engender them to yourcause you're you're deeply mistaken soakthat one and that's a good proverbfriendships and they demandrighteousness they demand that you livewell into that relationship proverbsWatch at: 01:02:40 / 01:03:0021:21 says the person who pursuesrighteousness and faithfulness andfaithful love will find liferighteousness and honor why aren't myfriends honoring me well are you livingan honorable life if you're loving Godand you're loving people that's one ofthe best ways to guard a friendship butalso this speaking the truth and loveWatch at: 01:03:00 / 01:03:20within that relationship is also vitalvital a relationship needs to be guidedby a fear of God that's actually thefoundation and the guiding star of arelationship and so proverbs 27 5through 6 says it's better an openreprimand than concealed love the woundsWatch at: 01:03:20 / 01:03:40of a friend are trustworthy but thekisses of an enemy are excessive haveyou ever thought that the best way todeepen a friendship is not just hittingthe like button every time they saysomething stupid or ridiculous or youjust want to be on their radar and likelike like week what it what if the mostWatch at: 01:03:40 / 01:04:00profound way to deepen a relationship iswith tough conversations and tough wordsand taking risks now there's a fine lineif you offend you may need they maybecome a fortified City and never openedto your visit again but that's often notthe case if you love somebody and youspeak the truth and love to them it'sWatch at: 01:04:00 / 01:04:19better to have that kind of a friendthan a person that's always like ohyou're awesome you know man your heartheart heart heart you're not like that'snot probably aaccomplishing much so a person thatmultiplies kisses and likes that'sprobably not the most transformativerelationship that you have okayacquaintances superficial friends willWatch at: 01:04:19 / 01:04:40always like in love they'll always giveyour status in life regardless of how onstraight your path is they'll alwaysgive you a thumbs up a true friend willtake risks though they'll call you outfor your stupidity and they might evensay you're being stupid like they mightsay those words to youthey'll rebuke your foolishness they'llrisk losing your friendship to save yourWatch at: 01:04:40 / 01:05:00soul they'll choose fearing God all daylong over multiplying a bunch offakeness and fake kisses now I'm tellingyou if you have the privilege to everhave such a friend to walk with you ingrace and truth willing to rebuke you attimes guard that friendship for theWatch at: 01:05:00 / 01:05:19precious treasure that it is and teachyour kids to do the same well that's itfolks on friendship there's a lot moreactually in Proverbs but I just I wantedto say a simple prayer right now that wedevelop deeper friendships but that wealso become better friends as well weWatch at: 01:05:19 / 01:05:40need to do both don't we let's pray dearfather thank you for your wisdom hand itdown to us through these scripturesfather help us to live forward beingbetter friends and embracing friendsmore deeply embracing friends moreprofoundly letting your a fear of you aWatch at: 01:05:40 / 01:06:00love for you shaped that relationshiphelp us be better friends and the way werespond and our faithfulness and ourcharacter and our tegrity father fortifyus with spiritual friendships we pray inJesus name AmenWatch at: 01:06:00 / 01:06:19if you remember last weekCamden when he led us in communion hementioned the mystery of our faith andhe and he said a phrase Christ has diedChrist is risen and Christ will comeagain and maybe you've heard that beforea matter of fact if we could we couldWatch at: 01:06:19 / 01:06:40just say it and if you're at home youcould say it with us too let's say sorepeat it after me here Christ has diedChrist is risen Christ will come againthis is called the mystery of our faithbut as you say it you may be going toyourself that doesn't sound all thatmysterious right we know these things soWatch at: 01:06:40 / 01:07:00just a little bit of maybe a explanationor just talk about what what we mean bywhen we say it's a mystery yeah I thinkyou're very modern way for us to thinkabout that is to say you know like theshrug emoji like but but that's notreally the case now there's certainlysome things about it you and I we failedWatch at: 01:07:00 / 01:07:19to explain how all of that happens butit's not entirely just a complete blankfor us there's another way of looking atit and you might see this if you seesomebody who drives a Jeep and they'vegot a bumper sticker that says it's aJeep thing you wouldn't understand thatWatch at: 01:07:19 / 01:07:40always kind of hurts my feelings alittle bit I wish I had a Jeep John ownsa jeep right it's a Jeep thing you wouldunderstand and and there may be a littlebit of but it's not really just anexclusive is exclusive thing that wellif you're not a Christian you can't getthis part of it but I will say there issomething about this mystery of ourWatch at: 01:07:40 / 01:08:00faith that has to do with us becomingmore and more like Christ so I wouldkind of look at it more like maybe theearly church and and some of the veryearliest Christians talked about themysteries matter of fact it wasn't justa blank like guys we don't really knowthis is just a complete mystery to us noWatch at: 01:08:00 / 01:08:20is actually study we're gonna study thismystery together and it becomes apparentto us as you come into Christ as you'rebaptized in Christ and you're livingyour life having beenput to death and raised with Christyou're becoming like emilich with Paulwhen he said in Galatians chapter two hesays I've been put to death in the bodyWatch at: 01:08:20 / 01:08:40and I no longer live but it's Christ wholives in me we are becoming like Christand this is a great this is a greatprofound mystery so beyond just thatblank I just can't explain it or ifyou're not in the club you won't get itit actually is a matter of I'm learningWatch at: 01:08:40 / 01:09:00more and more as Christ is making memore and more like him and we identifywith this crisis died Christ is risenand Christ will come again in ourbaptism through the word and through ourtime at the table as we eat the breadWatch at: 01:09:00 / 01:09:20and drink the cup we remain anchored andwho Christ is what he is doing in ourlives and then that truth let's say itone more time Christ has died Christ isrisen and Christ will come again so ifWatch at: 01:09:20 / 01:09:40you would let's take our communion herethat we have and let's share togetherremember that Christ met with hisdisciples and as he took the bread withthem he he broke and he shared with himand he said this is my body take it andeat in remembrance of melet's do that together and likewise heWatch at: 01:09:40 / 01:10:00took the cup and he shared it with himas wellletting them know that this this cup isthe blood of the New Covenant this newpromise that he's making with them andwith us and he drank it together withthem so let's do so in remembrance andWatch at: 01:10:00 / 01:10:20let's pray our Lord we thank you forbeing a God who is revealing to us moreand more what it is to be like the onewe adore our Savior Jesus that you puton flesh and became like us and in everyway and you were put to death even butWatch at: 01:10:20 / 01:10:40now yourisen in exulting and we look forward tothe return of our Savior and in all ofthat how you are making us more like youWatch at: 01:10:40 / 01:11:00molding us into your likeness into yourcharacterwe thank you for the mystery of ourfaith as you continue to teach us andgrow us God we pray that we have ahumble spirit and we give you thanks forWatch at: 01:11:00 / 01:11:20Christ in whose name we pray[Music]bless the Lord O my soul o my sonWatch at: 01:11:20 / 01:11:40[Music]never before O my soul I'll worship yourhomeWatch at: 01:11:40 / 01:12:00[Music]it's time to see your sorightWatch at: 01:12:00 / 01:12:20and would ever buys me[Music]me[Music]Watch at: 01:12:20 / 01:12:40[Music]Watch at: 01:12:40 / 01:13:00in your heartWatch at: 01:13:00 / 01:13:20[Music]myArtie[Music]Watch at: 01:13:20 / 01:13:40[Applause][Music]OhWatch at: 01:13:40 / 01:14:00Watch at: 01:14:00 / 01:14:20my stream is fairly being drop us nearWatch at: 01:14:20 / 01:14:40and my time has comestill my soul will senior break[Music]Watch at: 01:14:40 / 01:15:00evermore[Music]Watch at: 01:15:00 / 01:15:20Oh[Applause][Music]niceWatch at: 01:15:20 / 01:15:40[Music]like[Music]Watch at: 01:15:40 / 01:16:00Watch at: 01:16:00 / 01:16:20like never before O my soul I'll worshipyour homehe is a worship your holinessWatch at: 01:16:20 / 01:16:40Lord I'll worship your home[Music]Watch at: 01:16:40 / 01:17:00and the world was bornWatch at: 01:17:00 / 01:17:20[Music]shoehorn[Music]Watch at: 01:17:20 / 01:17:40Watch at: 01:17:40 / 01:18:00that shades on[Music]Jesuslet's eat[Music]thereWatch at: 01:18:00 / 01:18:20[Music][Music]Watch at: 01:18:20 / 01:18:40[Applause][Music]Watch at: 01:18:40 / 01:19:00Shelbyyour treat reigns unstoppableWatch at: 01:19:00 / 01:19:20shouting praise forJesus our Godbig Shelby[Music]jeezWatch at: 01:19:20 / 01:19:40stop[Music]Shelbyyou're cheapShadia plays for[Music]Watch at: 01:19:40 / 01:20:00you're[Music][Applause][Music]Watch at: 01:20:00 / 01:20:20Watch at: 01:20:20 / 01:20:40I don't know that just that reallyWatch at: 01:20:40 / 01:21:00deserves one of these alright I mean ourGod is the unstoppable one he is the oneWatch at: 01:21:00 / 01:21:20man fact it's kind of hard to stopsinging that song it's like the songthat never entered because god I meansome of you got that anyway really gladyou're here you can have a seat thankyou for being here today thank you forcoming out and kind of if you've beenlike you know locked in your home forthe last four minutes months or whateverWatch at: 01:21:20 / 01:21:40and you're coming out for the first timewe're really glad you did we're going tobe dismissing by rows we kind of madethat clear last week so I just want toreiterate that so so we're not just allbottled neck at the door so we'll justremain seated before we dismiss and theesters come and just starting releasingyour rows one at a time if if you wouldWatch at: 01:21:40 / 01:22:00bow with me one more time and let's praypray and give God thanks and ask him tosend us out and go with uslet's pray God thank you for really forrevealing to us your will your heartthis morning thank you for speaking tous through these proverbs you're reallyyou're really looking at our hearts andWatch at: 01:22:00 / 01:22:20you're you're helping us to to discernand understand truth from yourperspective and and how we can deal withvery real things in situations in ourlives like friendship and and many otherthings we've talked about and we'llthese coming weeks thank you God forthis rich depth and library of wisdom weWatch at: 01:22:20 / 01:22:40find in Proverbs and and all of yourword and God so would you continue tospeak to us even as we go from heremay your spirit go forth with us send usout from here indeed Godinto the world you we're you're sendingus out as light into a darkened worldand so help us and strengthen us fanWatch at: 01:22:40 / 01:23:00that flame so that we can shine brightlyfor you we pray this in the name of ourSavior who to whom receives all gloryall honor and all power that is JesusChrist and we pray amen so just pleaseremain seated we'll be dismissed hereWatch at: 01:23:00 / 01:23:20others let us out one by Roo run were ata time[Music]

About The Author

You Might Be Interested In


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *